After going out of the capilla at 20:47 PM, she flashed a bright smile as she passed by the night guard whom she has always been greeting and smiling at since her college days.
"Kuya, thank you! I'll go na po!" saying it with her 'usual' tone of excitement.
The guard looked at her. Her tone and facade were not matching what her eyes were showing.
This binibini is a people-person. You can see her always talking with the people she knows and getting involved with different groups in just one day. She may be talking to a friend and then suddenly the random person passing by would be 80% sure that he or she is also her friend. She laughs, acts silly, tells jokes, and shares her funny encounters. Maybe she's really gotten a spare battery almost everyday just to keep the good vibes in the air consistent.
This binibini would prefer to be with people who lifts up her spirit, and vice versa. There are times that she wants to just be busy in listening to others' stories.
This binibini is an 89% pleaser-type workaholic. She works, and works, and works. She does it almost every day in a week. She works hard for great results and to see the people she works with happy in what she wholeheartedly contributed.
This binibini really smiles a lot, but also cries a lot.
It pains her smiling in front of people, even though her emotions deep inside meant to draw her lips' curve downwards. It pains her laughing at the almost one-year-old fairytales that, little did others know, stopped unhappily and unfavorably to the heroine. No idea with the prince charming who has gotten away riding in his white horse. It also pains her moving forward, but her feet stubbornly walk backward and try to follow the trace of memories.
This binibini continues to cry silently in her heart's deepest core even though she's smiling. Her thoughts have always been betraying her. She has always been fooling around with herself, too.
She tries to escape, and escape, and escape.
She's half aware that she is escaping the reality because of her "busy schedule". She wanted to divert herself, but she did not expect that a certain time will come in which she has to cry it all out. Just the same way how she smiled in front of many. This binibini needs a hug, definitely because that's her nature. BUT, anyone does not need to feel sorry or sad to her. She doesn't want it. She just wants to see her special people sincerely happy of anything she offers, because she means of doing such. Although she is vulnerable and transparent when it comes to showing her emotions, but as much as possible, she does not want this side to be seen by her special people.
Her tip when you see her almost crying? Just smile!
She doesn't want to feel pity about herself and the situation. Simply say whatever word comes out from your heart, because at that vulnerable point of her life, she believes you are also His Instrument so that she would get a message from Him.
Yes, she needs a company of someone but now she needs more of her solitude. She needs time to think and place to breathe. She needs a space to sit and write down her thoughts, processes, and emotions.
Don't worry, she will smile again. As the night falls into day, she will surely smile again — but we are not sure of how true that smile she will be wearing.
But she will be fine. I know. Because I know her the most, even though she's quite lost. 12:29 AM: muni-muni
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