Tonight, I answered questions about love that were asked by a dear younger friend.
"How do you know that you already fell in love, and how do you justify that love is worth the risk?"
These were hard questions but I knew I already have answers to them.
You see, I love the the concept of love because I believe it is one of the Universe's deepest treasures. Love is so complex and complicated, and we all agree to that. Its idea is hard to comprehend, yet we all still fall for it.
I didn't want to answer the question in the view of love's socially constructed image, because it should not be. We all fall in love differently, and so here's my answer according to my perspective:
I'll know it's love or if I have fallen in love when my ginoo and I begin to learn and speak one language. Every person is totally different — in cultural background, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and other abstract elements. We basically speak different languages which makes us still have some misunderstandings with one another. It is amazing how with love, you are able to unite and connect your universe to your partner's universe.
I'll know it's love when we surprisingly understand each other despite our differences in personalities or preferences.
I'll know it's love when we can still feel the connection despite the distance in between.
I'll know it's love when everything in the Universe singalong with my heartbeat whenever I am with him.
I'll know it's love when I am content with every moment with him, may it be happy or sad.
I'll know it's love if I am able to choose him despite his [ugly] surface but I truly know and believe that his beauty is deep within.
Most importantly, I'll know it's genuine love when he's always in my prayers.
And how do I justify that this love is worth the risk? Well, I have already asked myself about this in the past and I arrived with this answer: I cannot justify it because... do I really need to have reasons to know if the person's worth the risk? I have already fallen in love with who he is and so I'll take the courage to take the risk because why not? I believe everyone is worth the risk. Everyone is deserving. I believe he already deserved the risk I was willing to take ever since I started to love his sparkling eyes, his totally black hair, his shy smile, his comforting scent, his logic, his passion, his stories, his emotions, and never ending of his. It really does take courage to break through your doubts. Actually, falling in love with the person is already the first risk that I have taken.
My dear friend agreed with my following response and shared his thoughts as well:
"(...) But there is no shame in being careful... just keep in mind that sometimes things like "being careful" won't matter when you are in that moment because that's the thing about falling in love... you also have to be open with having your heart broken."
As my conversation with my dear friend go along, another idea just hit me. I think I just started discovering why many people see "falling in love" scary.
How can you be careful when you are already falling? Let's take it also in the literal context. How can you be saved from falling? Or maybe we can change this by realizing that we are having these thoughts at first because we are just focused in the scary idea of falling, yet we are forgetting the whole context of the phrase it belongs to. We are forgetting where exactly we are falling to.
Yes, we are falling in love.
And in general, love is still one of the most beautiful things that God has given us as innate gift and ability.
I am happy how this unexpected short conversation ended meaningfully. I get to see another face of love. I get to fall in love more with the idea of love. I get to discover another thing, and I believe I'll explore the questions that arose from the thoughts that my dear friend and I shared with each other in the following days and nights.
To you, my friend who's reading this: I hope you are happily in love (in the general context, not just the romantic way).